Emberkit woke up and looked out of the nursery. The sun was peeking up over the horizon. Emberkit, called his mother Wildstorm, come and eat, before your sisters eat the whole mouse. Cumin, he replied. When they finished Emberkit ran out the door. Bye Mama, he yelled over his shoulder. When he was out of the ThunderClan camp, he decided to catch up with the patrol. He pricked his ears as he raced, silently but swiftly along the border line. Finally he found them. He dropped into a hunting crouch ready to spring on his unsuspecting clan mates. He leaped onto Brambleclaw and the two cats tumbled over until Brambleclaw threw him off. Remember to keep your scent down wind, we smelled you coming, remarked Brambleclaw. Not to mention his crouch was as bad as a lopsided badger teased his father Flamestar. Youll never catch anything thumping around like that. They set off again with Emberkit creeping silently in front. In the corner of his eye, Emberkit saw a rabbit. He automatically dropped into a hunting crouch. Careful to keep his scent down wind and his weight on his haunches, he carefully crept towards it, leaving the patrol behind him. He sprang, and took its life quickly, then scraped dirt over it so he could come back for it later. Then he raced back to join the patrol. When Emberkit returned Flamestar was getting ready for the gathering. Emberkit, Icingkit, Sugarkit Wildstorm called. Lets go. When they reached Fourtrees the clan separated and Emberkit raced over to a group of apprentices to try to memorize everything he could before becoming an apprentice with his sisters and other kits at 6 moons old. The four clan leaders called from the Great Rock. Blackstar made the usual announcement that ShadowClan is doing fine and that their prey is plentiful. RiverClan and WindClans prey was running fine as well. ShadowClan could be starved and dying and theyd never admit it whispered Wildstorm. At the end of the gathering Emberkit walked back and went to bed. That night Emberkit dreamed of an attack from RiverClan at the Sunningrocks. The next day it actually happened. The dawn patrol said there had been unusual activity around Sunningrocks and when they went back the warriors found a RiverClan patrol waiting to attack. Many cats had been injured and Flamestar set an extra patrol around the RiverClan border. That night Emberkit overheard Icingkit and Sugarkit planning to attack the RiverClan patrol because they were upset about the battle at Sunningrocks. Emberkit quickly went to tell Flamestar. When they came out of Flamestars den it was too late, his sisters had already left. They raced through the undergrowth, crossed the border, dove into the river and swam strongly across the water. They were lucky and caught up with the kits before they were discovered by the enemy patrol. All 3 kits were tucked warmly next to Wildstorm. Emberkit was exhausted. Wildstorm nudged him gently and said I received a message from the heavenly warriors in StarClan. They told me youre ready to become an apprentice. Emberkit fell asleep and dreamed of hunting and serving his clan like a warrior should.
This seems like warriors related thing. The only thing I have to say is that Kits can't go to Gatherings... unless you've changed it. Other than that, you did a good job. :)
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It was pretty good, however, may I suggest adding in quotation marks. the sight makes them dissapear, so you have to add them in again. ;D I like the dialogue!
