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Warrior Cats: The Four Clans -> Fan-Fiction -> ♥~Moonstar's Poetry/Prosetry/Prose~♥ [blowing on eyelashes uppp 12/18]
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TOPIC: ♥~Moonstar's Poetry/Prosetry/Prose~♥ [blowing on eyelashes uppp 12/18]
Firestar


WindClan Leader

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RE: ♥~Moonstar's Poetry~♥ -New poems 12/28/08-
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Great job! Your really good at writting poetry! Keep it up =D!

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Thanks karma!
The cat in my avie is my character firestar/leaf. Not the character from the book ;)
Moonstar


RiverClan Leader

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Thank you so much Fireheart! :P

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Thank you Ebbs!! <3
Florestadream


RiverClan Warrior

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You're absolutely wonderful at this, Moony! It really shows the emotions you're trying to get through. Keep up the poems, Moony!

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.
. 
Moonstar


RiverClan Leader

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Thanks soo much Floresta! ^^ *hugs* Means a lot. :P

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Thank you Ebbs!! <3
Moonstar


RiverClan Leader

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♥~Moonstar's Poetry~♥ -New poem 1/3/09-
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I know this is long, but that's because I was venting through paper and pencil last night and once I started, I couldn't stop

Drowning
Im terribly sorry that this is all I have to offer
And for becoming tangled in this upsetting knot
All I ever wanted was your love
But youre clearly so consumed by your ego that you forgot
Even after all the affection and romance I soughtt
I only desired
I only thought
It would all work out in the end
I tried so hard

Facing reality is a tough trend
Happily ever after is a hardcore lie
Fixing my wings is not enough to make me fly
Teen down
Flailing, frustrated
But let her rest, this is her moment
Leave her in distress
Her own agreement, her own fate
This is only an argument with herself
Please, just wait
Wait

It can be difficult to view this girls pain
Her heart thumping with a gash as deep as the waters shes trying to wade out of
Getting sucked back in with every stroke
Until she lets herself drown
And choking on waves, gasping for breath
She knows the decision is get over him or suffer her emotional death
Her legs kick
She starts to swim
But its still clear how much agony shes in
Her pale tears dripping into the ocean
Her sobs are horribly echoing
And swimming away from him
Is simply heartbreaking
She tried

She had the chance
But he refused
So close to her dream
But let the boy choose
His decision is terrible
But he wanted to lose
Because Im generous, Ill split the blame
Half and half is my farthest game
My daydreams smashed to the ground
You let me break bones
Why is your image so captivating even as Im swimming away?
Im devoured
Im thrashing
Ive still got a chance
No sweetie, stay out of this,
Youre too stupid to advance
Im sorry I love you
And that you love me too
But my heart cant take it
Your apologys overdue
But I tried

Ill go with your plans
Ill swim
No sweat
Just as long as you also get wet
Proof shown by the back-stroking brunette
The vibrant violet on her bikini
I hope you soak up the regret
And all I can say is
I tried

Maybe too hard, but you didnt deserve less
You mean a lot to me
But you didnt confess
So I have to be strong
Please remember me from all the permanent graffiti
Remember our moments
Remember me, sweetie
And floating to shore, I still cry
I still mutter, sputter,
"Baby, I tried."

**PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE tell me what this poem means to you. What do you think the ocean represents and stuff? Thanks!


-- Edited by Moonstar at 00:35, 2009-01-06

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Thank you Ebbs!! <3
Florestadream


RiverClan Warrior

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Wow... That's so deep, Moony... It all flows so easily! And the ocean, it's a magnificent part to it all, Moony. It is gentle, yet dangerous; capable of showing hurt and being hurt. I understand the reason for your words, for everything. The ocean; hurt, pain, love, beauty, emotion all together. That's the waves the color, the creatures. I can see everything you wrote was true to the heart. It is a wonderful poem, Moony. You'll be a professional one day.

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.
. 
Moonstar


RiverClan Leader

Status: Offline
Posts: 5414
Date:
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That is one of the best comments I've gotten in a long time. Thank you, and thank you especially for pointing out things in the poem. That's what I wish that everyone would do, not that I dont' appreciate the comments, but it really helps to get feedback. ^^ *hugs* Thanks again.

Btw, I edited Drowning. You don't have to re-read it though cuz I only added/took away a few words. ;))

__________________

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Thank you Ebbs!! <3
Florestadream


RiverClan Warrior

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Posts: 2635
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And, not to put down my favorite poems, like "If," and all of those, but this is one of the best poems I have ever read. I was like, "HOLY CANOLIES!" after I read it. My brother tackled me, I was amazed so much. True... Whenever I over react; BAM! I'm on the floor. xD Okay, that was really random, but true. But I digress. If I had the time, I'd do this for every one of your poems. But I have the dang tests to worry about... Again, I digress. *You know, i should get people to count how many times I go from one topic to another. I do that on tests, too! But my teachers like ti, because it means I shift through things almost as easy as breathing.*

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.
. 
Moonstar


RiverClan Leader

Status: Offline
Posts: 5414
Date:
Permalink  

HAHAHA! That was funny!
And thanks, honestly, that means so much to me. heart.gif I'm so glad you enjoyed it. So, so gald. ^^

__________________

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Thank you Ebbs!! <3
Florestadream


RiverClan Warrior

Status: Offline
Posts: 2635
Date:
Permalink  

I'm glad I can make someone happy. That makes me happy... It be-ith a circle. :3

__________________

07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.
. 
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