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Warrior Cats: The Four Clans -> Journals -> Goldies Journal. ||August 30th, 2011||
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TOPIC: Goldies Journal. ||August 30th, 2011||
Ebonycloud


WindClan Deputy

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RE: Goldies Journal. Read it and Weep. ||August 18th, 2009||
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Hope you have fun with school buddy! XD Public school isnt all that scary. I had been doing it up until my junior year so its not that bad X3 Also, if you need something to write, how about a story about your character Goldheart and all your buddies =D Or perhaps a story about your favortire RPing couple.... just a thought

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Goldheart


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=] Thanks Ebbs =] =] Thanks Ebbs =] <3 You always know how to make me smile =] And I will take you up on that offer of the writing! I think its a great idea. =] I'll start on it tonight =] <3 I love you.

-- Edited by Goldheart on Monday 31st of August 2009 03:04:35 AM

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Goldheart


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RE: Goldies Journal. Read it and Weep. ||December 18th, 2009||
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You know? It's really hard for me to write down how my life is going. Or how it isn't. I feel like my life is so intricately designed, that its so hard to simply write about it, or explain it.
It's going great though. Despite the fact of learning who truly does and who truly doesn't care about you. Everything is great. My acting is becoming my main focus. I am beginning to just get out there and do it. Not worrying about what I look like or sound like. Wishing I had a perfect small figure with blonde hair and bright green eyes will do nothing for me. I'll always be brown hair, hazel eyed, average size Taylor. And I'm becoming okay with that for the most part.
It's just hard, looking at all these TV and Movie stars and runway models who are infinitely more beautiful than I could ever be.

And whats really hard, is watching happy couples. Real life, movies, shows, whatever. Its still hard. Knowing that the one you love is doomed to be with another. Because you didn't fit their reasoning of the perfect one.

Life is hard.

-Goldy


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Florestadream


RiverClan Warrior

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RE: Goldies Journal. Read it and Weep. ||August 18th, 2009||
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life is hard. and that sucks. but i'm glad you can say you'll who you will ever be. of course you'll always be jealous of those models -- i mean, i'm comfortable in my own skin, but i want a perfect figure. but really... i mean, people like me for who i am. so i think we should stay as who we are. i'm glad you have a focus now -- i find that life goes better with a main focus! and happy couples -- you can watch them, but remember, they won't always be happy.

resta

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07.08.13

okay, then.
unfortunately loving an idiot
who doesn't love me back.
but i'm not falling.
i just kind of...
am.
. 
Ebonycloud


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Its so good to see you back her Goldie. Even if i cant be there to help you through the things you need help with, you can always vent to us here =D We all care about you and are willing to give you advice ^^
It really can be hard seeing all those stupid commercials saying and defining what they think is beautiful. But ive listened to the radio on K-love and there is this one song that i love and im sure youve heard it "You can never be a more beautiful you." I love that phrase. Ive accepted that am not some twig thin blue eyed beauty. Im just little old brown haired brown eyed Ebbs. But there are thing about me that are more beautiful than just physical beauty.
For you acting is the thing that is more beautiful about you than those fashion models. You are funny and sweet and ive seen your picture before and i think you are quite pretty ;D
IM glad that you are accepting who you are Goldie, God love you for the real you, the one you are on the inside and you know it. Love ya bud =D

Ebbs

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Goldheart


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Thank you Resta :) You are right on.
And thank you Ebbs. You seriously always know what to say. And Yes, I've heard that song. Insanely beautiful. And I love it. =] Its actually one of the songs that have helped me to become comfortable again. Because even out of all the messed up things I've done, God honestly has forgiven me. And he knows I'm beautiful. Inside and out. Its crazy to wrap my head around it. =]

Thank you both again

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Goldheart


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Its crazy at how perfectly things can fall apart. 'Oh, but Goldy! If things are falling apart, how can they possibly be perfect at the same time?'
Yes, this is basically an oxy moronic statement. But it's the total Truth!

On October 17th, 2008 my forever started. I found the guy of my dreams. No not some petty teen love. I'm talking, me and this kid LOVED each other. And I understand that people throw this word around so much. But, I'm telling the truth. He inspired me, and I inspired him. I brought out the best in him and he did the same for me. We were so different, yet so completely alike in so many ways. We always had fun when we were with each other. Always. He was the part that completed me. My other half. We fought over almost every little thing yet ended the conversation with laughter. We always had a reason to smile because we knew that we would stand together if the earth fell apart.
Then, on February 14th, 2009, everything began falling apart. Only, I didn't know it at the time. Who knows, maybe I did know it, but I wouldn't admit it to myself. We became closer in a way that I never thought possible for me. I was slowly losing myself to this guy. The way he would call me beautiful sent my heart in spasms every single time. He would text me good morning every morning. And he would call me while he was at work just so he could hear me say hello.
June 10th, I made a decision that would change my future drastically. We became closer on a more personal and emotional and physical manner than I ever thought could be possible. We found a new love that and never been unleashed before. And now that it was, it was far too strong, it was like a ravenous beast that completely consumed us, and neither of us knew how to handle it. And we didn't. We fell apart slowly, as the beast ate us both alive.
And August 19th, 2009, my forever vanished. It got up and walked out the door, because I was too scared to throw away the consequences that came with my decision myself, I relied on the fact that the grass is always greener on the other side. Who knew that saying could mean another turf.

But just yesterday, I realized the proximity of all this, how much it shaped me into a better person. I may not be the stick model on the runway. I may not be a singer as great as Carrie Underwood, I may not be as emotionally and mentally great at writing like Erin Hunter. But I'm Taylor Marie Gaskins. I'm a SOMEBODY. Not what this break up has made me to be. I can be someone without treading by his side as a huge weight pulled me back.
I'm free. All because of a breakup. And I hate the fact that I had to go through all of this just to realize that.
But sometimes, God needs to do something drastic like this to get our attention. And I'm now okay with that. =]


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Goldheart


ThunderClan Warrior

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RE: Goldies Journal. ||December 22nd|| The Realization
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I hope everyone had a great Christmas!! I know I did!

My mom and I haven't talked for quite sometime. And its crazy. But she decided this year was the year she was gonna call a truce, and she bought me Wonderland Tickets. =] Its a new musical, and I'm super excited to go! You should check it out!

http://www.wonderlandthemusical.org/

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Ebonycloud


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RE: Goldies Journal. ||December 26th||
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Oh Goldie... I wish i had been home four days ago so i could have replied sooner! D8
I remember when you told me all about this and to tell you the truth im eternally greatful that you did ;D Makes me feel like i can be trusted. Im glad that you can see the good that has come from this experience. Me and my family have gone through some deep crud to get where we are today... Im just glad that you have been able to see how God has moved in your life.
Keep on going cause God love you, the real you for real.... Just a dumb phrase i picked up when i went to Revolve tour... It was a great convention and that little phrase mean a lot to me ^^ Welcome back to the forums again (Though youve been here for a few weeks) Dont forget to talk to me anytime if you need anything =D


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Goldheart


ThunderClan Warrior

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=] You truly are the most loyal and faithful friend I have ever had. And I will be forever grateful to you. =] And you're dang right you can be trusted! =] I trust you with everything

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